Often we overlook the fact that in our personal growth the only thing we need to focus on is the gap between reality, and our perception. Reality is what is actually happening. Our perception is what we think should be happening. when the reality and what we think should be happening is the same, life flows and we are happy…we are getting our way. But when things start to diverge, watch your ego scream! This shouldn’t be happening! Why is this happening? How can I change it? This resistance is our suffering, and it is the only time we suffer in this way. Of course when we are ill or in pain or have experienced a loss and are grieving there is emotional sadness, even anger but this is not the same as suffering. Sadness, anger and other intense emotions are really not an issue when we fully embrace and enjoy them (and I use enjoy deliberately), they are only a problem and suffering only occurs when we try to resist the feelings – as if they are ‘wrong’ in some way.
If we practice full acceptance of not only the situation, but also our emotional reaction to the situation, we experience great relief and peace. As a teacher of Reiki I often fall into the ego trap of ‘how I should be acting’ and when I am cursing or judging someone I find it hard not to judge myself in return. It’s hard not to feel that my negative emotion or judgement is wrong. And this creates a great deal of tension and resistance in my body. Often as soon as I realize what I am doing, and fully accept the energy running through me – whether it is anger or even resistance to my resistance, it immediately starts to ease the suffering. I can see I am resisting, and if I am OK with that, if I can still love that part of me that is in resistance, I feel relief and the suffering disappears. It’s important to note the anger and judgement don’t necessarily disappear 😉 But anger without resistance is not really a big deal, it passes quickly and is kinda funny.
So next time you notice you are suffering, just get still and ask yourself ‘what part of reality am I resisting right now?’ and whatever comes up for you, just accept it. Unconditionally accept that whatever you are feeling, or whatever is happening, is the reality of what is. Afterall, if you don’t, all you are doing is creating your own suffering.