Let's talk about guilt. Guilt is essentially a manipulation tactic to make you feel like what you are currently doing/thinking is not good enough. Society is full of such tactics eg. In order to be happy you need to "get straight As, go to University, be a Lawyer/Doctor/Accountant". Some of us may still fall for this old trick, but essentially it has been replaced by another one - or at least in my circle. And this new one is much more subtle. It's the one that says "live in the moment, slow down, don't miss your life, smell the roses."
Still feelings of guilt, still thinking you're not doing it well enough. Now instead of being a failure because you didn't go to Uni, or you didn't become a lawyer, you are now feeling guilty because you are not being present enough, living in the moment enough.
Let's be logical, and relax for a moment. You are in this human body as a stream of consciousness. Your consciousness is a tiny stream connected to the larger stream of total consciousness. you can live your life as this tiny stream and have no clue you are part of the bigger whole, or you can know you are part of the bigger stream and come in and out of that - sometimes feeling very connected to the bigger stream, sometimes focused on the tiny stream. Either way, you are enough. You can't NOT be enough. There is NOTHING else. So whether you are fully connected and an enlightened being, or a lawyer making a ton of money and totally stressed out - you are part of the whole. You cannot do this wrong, there is no wrong, how can the universe be doing it wrong? What would that even look like?
So what that means for you, is giving yourself permission to relinquish guilt. Relax. Stop driving yourself towards some fictitious goal. You will not gain anything significant when you get the promotion, nor will you gain anything significant when you simplify your life and spend more time with your kids, or smell a rose. These acts are simply acts. You can get a promotion and be joyful or stressed, you can smell a rose and be joyful or stressed - the inner state has nothing to do with your accomplishments - whether that's striving for material possessions, or spiritual ones. Striving is striving, in whatever disguise.
The idea of striving seems to be triggered by a pervasive fear of "wasting your life", or not living it properly. Here's the thing I would love for you to contemplate. You cannot live your life wrong. It is "right" whatever you do, however you decide to spend it. Your life is a gift of consciousness - judging it to be ok, not ok is purely ego. Consciousness operates exactly the same whether your ego notices it or not.
You living your life is like trees growing in a forest - how ridiculous to go into the forest and judge each tree on growing "right" or "wrong". The only difference between the human life and the life of a tree is that we have self-consciousness - which breeds ego, which breeds all our judgements.
The idea that you will be on your deathbed and judged, or that you will judge yourself and regret things is also totally ego driven. Only the ego judges. The moment of death when you release back into the bigger stream will be the same for you as for the enlightened Guru - all will be equal no matter what you achieved or perceived.
So how would it be if you stopped guilt tripping yourself, and others. If you let yourself breath and simply be. Be the lawyer, be the underachiever, be the confused one, be the overachiever, be the depressed one, the anxious one - whatever is presenting through you right now - stop holding it as important. It's not important, it's simply an experience of consciousness.
How would it be, how would the world in general be if you stopped guilt tripping those around you? Your family, your children, your friends. Let them be. Let them be their own stream - they can't do it wrong either.
Trust that all these streams, that humanity and the flow of life is simply a happening. You may be an overachiever, an activist, a mover or shaker - this is your path and thank goodness for you! But equally you may be taking it easy, procrastinating through life, meandering with little purpose or direction - and yay! for that too. What makes one better or happier than another?
Ultimately whether you are present to your physical life, or present to your mind's imagined life - you are still present. The idea that you are not present is an impossibility. You are always present, you can't miss your life. You are life.
The more profound question is not whether you are present or not, but what you are present to. This is worth investigating - are you focused on the tiny stream, or the bigger stream? Are you focused on the thoughts or the now? Are you focused on the fear or the joy? Not as a guilt trip - there is no right focus. Simply as an observation.
And then see what unfolds next.
